Thunk, Thunk, Thunk
by destinykeyblade
Summary: Why must princesses always wait to be rescued by the hero? Don't the programmers know that that makes for an annoyed, unhappy princess, and that annoyed, unhappy princesses lead to annoyed, unhappy villains?


Hello again, dear readers. Thank you for taking the time to look at this. Hopefully, you are as amused as my fellow tormentor lilydavi09, whom i have begun to ask before posting any new fics on the site. I figure a friend as wonderfully, brutally honest as her would be able to tell me for sure if it deserves to be read by large quantaties of random people or not. This one got the seal of approval, so... yeah! Enjoy this odd, short story I typed after getting stuck in the Light wing of Ganon's Castle in the Ocarina of Time. Which is dumb, 'cause I've finished the game several times before! I ust can't understand why I can't understand what to do! *sighs and shakes head* Poor Link. I got tired of seeing him get run over by those boulders, so I came to the computer and... this happened.

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_Thunk. Thunk. Thunk._

"Will you knock that off?!" Ganon exclaimed, turning away from his crystal ball to glare at Zelda. She ignored him and continued bashing her head against the wall of her pink crystal prison.

_Thunk. Thunk. Thunk._

The King of Evil groaned. "I'm really getting sick of that noise!" he said angrily.

Zelda glowered at him from inside her cage. "I'm really getting sick of being trapped in this thing!"

"So why don't you break out of it?" Ganon asked, confident that if she did, he could easily defeat her.

The princess's eye twitched. "I'd love to, but I can't."

"Why not?"

She held up a well-worn book. "It's not in the script."

Ganon raised an eyebrow. "You actually read that thing? I threw mine away right after they gave it to me."

Zelda didn't seem to believe him. "Sure, sure," she said, nodding. "That explains why you've being saying all your lines right." The girl scoffed. "Threw it away... Whatever."

The Gerudo man frowned. "I'm serious! I got rid of that stupid book right aft-"

"AAAAAHHHHH!"

A scream from the direction of the crystal ball distracted the two from their argument. Sounding very uninterested, Zelda, examing her fingernails, said, "Lemme guess. Link got run over by another boulder?"

Sighing, Ganon shook his head. "Nope. Worse. He got run over by the same boulder that's been squishing him for the last ten minutes."

Zelda shook her head as well. "Pathetic excuse for a hero, really," she said, casting a glance at the image in the crystal ball. "But I love to look at him." The princess was silent for a moment. Then, she began to complain.

"Honestly, why can't I fend for myself? Why do I have to wait for Link to come and rescue me?" she whined.

Ganon shrugged. "Beats me," he answered.

Zelda pouted. "You know, if the lunatics who wrote the stupid script were gonna have me captured and imprisoned inside a giant crystal thingy-"

"Thingy?" Ganon asked, amused.

"Yes, thingy. Now shut up and let me finish talking!" The tyrant was quiet for once. "Thank you. As I was saying, if they were gonna stick me inside a giant crystal thingy, they could have AT LEAST asked me what color I wanted it to be! Do you have any idea how obnoxious it is to look at the world through rose-colored glasses?"

"Nope. No idea whatsoever."

Zelda sighed and banged her head on the wall again. "HURRY UP, LINK!!!" she shrilled at the top of her lungs.

"SHUT UP!" Ganon roared. "Geez, woman! Quit before you break the sound barrier!"

The blonde girl stuck her tongue out at him, but said nothing else... for five minutes. Then she yelled for Link again, although he quite clearly couldn't hear her, as he was busy getting smushed by the giant rocks in the Light wing of the castle.

_I've always hated this part of the story!_ Zelda seethed mentally. _I never have anything to do other than bug Ganon, and that's really getting old!_

"...He's never gonna make it up here, is he?" Zelda asked, dreading the answer.

"Unless that annoying little fairy takes pity on him and tells him what to do, no. Don't think so."

_Thunk. Thunk. Thunk._

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There you go! Hope you laughed at least a little! Reviews, while not required, would be appreciated! ^^


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